MY EXPERIENCE OF OVERCOMING CONFLICTS
Oruaro Egboje@egbojeoruaro412594
9 days ago
Conflicts, misunderstandings,
arguments and fights are some-thing that did not just start today
and might not end in the nearest future. As humans, it is only normal that once in a while we have one or two misunderstandings, but our ability to settle them to avoid them from turning into serious conflicts is what matters.
Conflicts can be triggered by
many factors like anger, hate or disagreement, and if not properly
handled on time, they can lead to something serious.People having disagreements leading to conflicts show that everyone has different mindsets and reactions towards some certain issues.
My personal experience of conflict over the years with my family,
friends, and classmates were mainly due to disagreements over
certain issues leading to exchange of hurtful words with each
other which in turn leaves everyone annoyed in the end.
The recent experience I had was with a friend of mine in school. What happened was that I pointed out what I observed in a gathering we were both in, which she heads, and I told her what I observed through a voice message on WhatsApp. Listening to her response afterwards, it was obvious that she was either in a bad mood or she just blew everything out of proportion. One thing about conflict is that if one person is not willing to step down for the other for peace's sake, whether right or wrong, it might lead to a serious conflict.
So here's a brief explanation of what I did. When I noticed that she had taken offense with what I said, I knew exchanging words with her at that moment would be pointless, and trying to explain to get her to listen to me would also be useless. So, with every message she sent me, I replied with an apology, even when I was quite sure I had done nothing wrong. One way to avoid or overcome conflict is to let go of your pride and learn to say sorry. It
won't cost us a dime to say those five-letter words, but that's where many of us are getting it all wrong, thinking that apologizing first means you have given up or means you are weak.
At that point of the disagreement
getting hotter, any words we say
might just add fuel to the fire. But with the word "SORRY", even if it wouldn't settle the issue at hand completely, it would prevent it from getting worse. After I apologized to my friend, I gave her a little space to calm down and think about the
whole issue. Sometimes most
people find it hard to let go of an offense, and you not giving them the needed space just constantly reminds them of how you annoyed them, and it might make it hard for them to heal and let it go.
Sometimes all they need is time and space to rethink the whole
situation and finally let go of the anger in them. The last thing I did was to try to meetup at a time comfortable with her to talk things out. For clarity's sake, when there's conflict between two people, dialogue is one of the best solutions. That way, both parties can express how they feel about what caused the misunderstanding and also come to a point
of understanding. Talking it out is a good way to overcome conflict, and when having such discussions, we should be humble and sincere. We shouldn't let pride mess up the whole process; we should try to mean whatever we are saying so that the dialogue process can end well.
After having the issue with my friend and resolving it, I learned a
huge lesson, which is never to let my pride make me lose important friendships and relationships I
have in my life. The biggest conflicts today started with small disagreements that weren't properly settled yesterday. As humans, let us learn the habit of apologizing and letting go of the hurt we feel within so that we can all live in a peaceful world.
