ODD FEELING

Lambe-Rohi Bethel-Gold
@bethelgoldayodele308287
9 days ago

Before it began,
I wanted to get there.
I wanted to shine.

I wanted to feel among.
I wanted the pleasing chills.

I wanted the results.
I wanted the glory.

I wanted to tell myself,
“Well done—you did it.”

Then I began.

It felt good at first.
It felt complete.
It felt natural.
It felt like eternity.

It felt like a warm hug
After a cold storm.

It felt like the kind of soup
That heals the chill of night.

It was perfect—at first.

Then... I couldn’t keep up.

There were other things.
There were distractions.

There were uncertain moments.
There was unspoken pain.

It felt like the bottom.
It felt like there was no hope.

It felt like a loop of unknowns.
It felt like I had to start again.

Then—I sat down.

I thought of what I’d done.
I thought of the words I’d written.

I thought of the times I showed up
Even when I didn’t feel okay.

I thought of the wins I had.

Then it all made sense.

It wasn’t from scratch.
It wasn’t the bottom.

It was growth.
It was progress.

It was a disguise.
It was forward.

And forward, I’ll keep at.

~ L.R. Bethel-Gold

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