everything of being an introvert sucks ... am tired , depressed but I have hopes
tipape matayo@tipapematayo437098
1 month ago
I'M TIRED
Everything sucks.
Not in the loud,
dramatic way people scream into pillows—
but in the quiet erosion of joy,
the slow leak of meaning.
I bet even life isn’t worth the breath it takes to say it.
You chase, like a dog to a car.
I chase friends.
And when I catch one,
I just stand there, panting,
not knowing how to drive it,
how to keep it, how to not crash it.
Who said the dog ever wanted the car? Who said it knew what to do when it caught it?
It sucks being an introvert.
Not the aesthetic kind people romanticize—
but the kind that makes silence feel like punishment.
Nothing is fun.
Screen time? Yeah, twenty-four hours. Eyes burning, soul dimming.
Coffee— the only friend that never leaves,
never judges,
never says, “I’m busy.”
But I’m tired.
So tired.
Even caffeine can’t keep me from sinking.
The pain of not talking to the only person
you usually talk to is like watching your lifeline fray.
You want to reach out, but the worry gnaws at you:
What if I’m disturbing them?
What if I’m too much?
What if they’re better off without me?
So you stay quiet.
You rot in the silence.
You rehearse conversations you’ll never have.
You scroll through old messages like they’re sacred texts.
You laugh at jokes you remember,
then cry because you remember them alone.
You break,
not in one clean snap,
but in a thousand invisible fractures.
You smile in public, but your soul winces. You say “I’m fine,” but your heart whispers, “Please notice I’m not.”
And no one does.
