Depth Is Not What You Think It Is
Segun Iwasanmi@iwasanmisegun212159
11 days ago
© Segun Iwasanmi
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Last month, a young man sent me the first chapter of his book at 2:17 a.m. He said, “Please be honest.” I could tell he had been awake for hours. The title was heavy. The first page was heavier. Every sentence sounded like it wore an Agbada on suit during heat period
By page three, I was tired. Why?, because nobody in that story sounded like a real human being. A mother was angry and she said, “I am experiencing emotional turbulence.” As how nahhh?, Which Nigerian mother talks like that? Even in church fight, they don’t speak like TED Talk.
The funny thing is, he thought that was depth. Yunno, Big words, long sentences, philosophical statements that bend your neck. But depth is not grammar gymnastics. Depth is when a father says, “Leave my house,” and you can see his hand shaking even though he is facing the wall. That shaking is what stays with you.
We have all fallen into it. We want to impress. We want people to screenshot our lines and call us profound. So we decorate pain instead of telling it. Meanwhile, the stories that move us are simple. Chinua Achebe did not shout when he wrote about Okonkwo. He just showed a man afraid of weakness. That fear did the rest.
I told the young man to rewrite one of the scenes without using big English. Just tell me what happened the day his character lost his job. He sent it back two days later. This time, the man sat on his bed and removed his wristwatch slowly before telling his wife. That small action carried more weight than all the “existential crisis” in the first draft.
That is the thing about creative fiction. Your story does not need to sound deep. It only needs to feel true. Reality connects faster than fancy words because we recognize ourselves in it. We have removed that wristwatch before. We have faced that wall. Abi nah?
Some writers learn this after three failed manuscripts. Some learn it early and save themselves years. The ones who sit with me know I will drag the truth out of their pages until the characters start breathing. Not everybody likes that process. But the ones who stay usually don’t struggle to be called deep again.
If you are writing something right now and it sounds impressive but not alive, read it again tonight. Remove the suit and tie from your sentences. Let them sweat a little. You might discover that what you have been calling depth is actually distance.
