Ibiang Ayei
@ayeiibiang080407
1 year ago

MILE 89

I ain't gon' talk to my kids like I blew no trees
in junior high,
Like I stole from no groceries so the gang could
get me incorporated
That I never served jail term on turning 18,
and didn't pull a knife
for all the years I was incarcerated
That these bullet holes ain't Hollywood but
real life;
the receipts from all my thuggin'
That the streets ain't as clean as they seem,
and the whiff of dope,
not something that I'll want 'em to indulge in
That the law ain't
structured to entertain their errors,
and its long arms ain't so gentle when hugging
That its embrace is sheer constriction
like handcuffs
on anyone who even attempts on running

Yeah, I'mma tell 'em:

That I wasn't called Scarface for just being
one nice kid on the block;
That I didn't get locked up a cell for just
throwing Sally a rock;
That I didn't serve a term for just doing drugs
or stealing a buck
So y'all better listen to me
when I tell you:
“It's a scary thing when you're being placed in
the dock"


I remember back then like it was yesterday:
Graffiti at every turn;
gang signs on the bricked wall with that smell
of tyre burn
Cop cars skidding on asphalt, sirens blaring with
shots fired from a gun
Another black teen writhing in pain,
clutching his left thigh, realizing he cannot run

So I'll be an honest father and tell 'em also
of my wrongs;
of all the battles I fought, and the many I suffered a loss
For every gamble I staked my life on, the dice
when making a toss
The debts I accrued me,
for all the years that I gloated a boss

...just don't want you repeating my errors
cos I swear
there's a lot that I'm not proud of

But for the brief time I have left,
I'll keep
giving everything I am just to see you happy
Being there
even when you don't desire my presence;
Gladly accepting your wrath,
and being a just recipient of your unforgiveness
Sucking in every ridicule and hatred
so I could be
well made-up to appeal to your conscience
I'm indeed sorry
for all the years of my neglect and grotesque
display of foolishness

Yes, I know I suck at being a good father,
please only let me
try starting being a responsible one






***





Written by: Ibiang, Ayei Okoi
Sunday, 19th March, 2023.
7:02PM
#Aï
#Nirclestories
#Poetry