nate remon
@nateremon089161
1 year ago
I walk in the night that is my mind.
A search for the unhealed child that haunts me;
I barely remember him.
He's curled up on the floor in a corner;
Knees buckled and chest heaving.
I know he hasn't properly eaten in weeks;
Mom called him fat I remember.
He's naked;
Stripped of everything that nourishes him;
'It's ungodly' they said.
Shaking and bruised he hisses at me;
I don't blame him.
There's nothing I want more than to embrace him.
I know he'd hate it;
Physical touch had never been a good thing.
I wonder if he knows he'll crave it when he's older.
Tears streak his cheeks as he cowers away;
I'm holding out a hand to help.
Suddenly I'm him again.
I'm fighting to see through my flooded eyes as I run;
It's pointless, I know.
All the doors remain locked;
The keys are safe in my captors' pockets.
There's no way out but through.
I'm lying on the floor getting torn apart;
As they did last weekend and the one before that.
I should be used to it.
There's a crushing solitude on my shoulders;
A self loathing I can't fully comprehend.
I thought I'd numbed.
My vision blurs before I'm looking at him again;
His eyes aflame with raw fear and anger.
I know he's waited to grow strong enough to fight back.
He looks at me wide eyed with the realization that I'll never have to;
That he'll never have to.
The unfair weight of it all almost crushes him;
Almost crushes me.
I want to hold his hand;
Tell him it wasn't his doing.
I would if I believed it.
He remains unhealed.
-Nate R.
#poetry
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