The Typical Man

Esther Nnaemeka
@esthernnaemeka604300
2 months ago

#NircleStories

The typical man is everywhere around us. He wears a checkered blue shirt with black palazzo pants (he insists they be called trousers though) and a black belt whose skin is almost completely peeled off.
With him is the ever worthy and trusted sack or pako bag, also competing with the black belt to see which will fade off the slowest.
His clay colored hair is as a result of all the red dust the wind blows up which he gets caught in every single day as he walks the road to school amidst cars speeding. Sometimes he washes it off in the tap just at the entrance of the school. Other times, he pays no attention to it and leaves it as it is.






The typical man only enters his vehicle on Sundays with his family. It is one which he is beyond proud of. The yellow three wheeled vehicle fondly called keke napep is his mostly prized possession. He doesn't let anyone but him wash it because he feels no one can handle it with the love a vehicle owner could.
He also only drives it to church which he believes is the best place for people to admire it. While his wife and children hurriedly step out of the tricycle into the church as fast as they can, the typical man takes his time, honking the horn even when there was no need to, just to ensure he gets people's attention.




What the typical man eats
What he teaches his children
His religious lifestyle

The typical man reads newspapers and novels about colonization and post colonization. Whenever he wakes up, he rinses his mouth with a bottle of schnapps which has been in his possession for over fifteen years. After that, he ties his wrapper around his waist and goes to sit in the verandah, bare-chested, with a newspaper in hand. He reads aloud, like a newscaster, pronouncing big words like 'quintessential' and 'moribund' twice and louder than the rest.
He then calls his three children, two boys and a girl to the verandah. He would show them these big words and make them spell and repeat them three times each. He always said,
"The only way you will get good jobs and be respected is if you know big words. When people hear these big words from your mouth, they will look at you in wonder and respect. Do you hear me?"
"Yes Sir," they all responded

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@mohammedabass484730