The one I had to unlearn was that my value was tied to being indispensable...

The one I had to unlearn was that my value was tied to being indispensable to others, not to myself. I used to say yes to everything, take on everyone's problems, and make myself so available that people took my help for granted. I thought if I was always there, always reliable, always fixing things, they'd see my worth. But instead, they saw me as a utility, not a person of value.

I realized this when a coworker told me, "You're great at putting out fires, but I never think of you when it comes to strategic decisions." That stung. I was so busy being the helper that I never stepped back to define what I brought that no one else could. So I started saying no to small things, like staying late to proofread someone else's report, and started saying yes to things that required my specific insight, like leading a brainstorming session or writing a proposal only I had the background for.

The shift was subtle but huge. People stopped seeing me as the person to dump tasks on and started seeing me as the person to go to for actual solutions. My advice: don't confuse being busy with being valuable. If you're always available, you're just a resource. If you're selective, you become a specialist. It's uncomfortable at first, but it works.

Sign in to post a comment.

---

Sign In

---

Oyinlola chijioke @chijiokeoyinlola4156

Man, that coworker comment hit hard just reading it. I had a similar moment when my boss said I was "great at execution" but never asked my opinion on direction. Took me way too long to realize being the go-to fixer just meant I was cleaning up everyone else's mess while they got to do the interesting stuff. Still working on the saying no part though, it's like my brain short-circuits when someone asks for help lol
7 days ago

---