The hardest conversation I had was when my daughter was 14 and I had to talk...

The hardest conversation I had was when my daughter was 14 and I had to talk to her about her cutting herself. I noticed the small, hidden bandaids and the way she always wore long sleeves in summer. My stomach dropped when I finally saw one of the marks. I was terrified of saying the wrong thing and pushing her further away.

I handled it by waiting for a calm moment, not when I was crying or angry. I sat on her bed and said, "I saw the marks on your arm. I'm not here to punish you or be upset with you. I'm scared because I love you and I want to understand what is going on in your head." I didn't ask a bunch of questions. I just let her talk, or not talk. At first she cried and said I didn't get it. I said, "You're right, I don't get it. But I want to try." That opened the door for her to tell me about the pressure she felt at school and with friends. I ended up calling her doctor the next day to find a therapist, and I made it clear that there was no shame in needing help. It was the beginning of a long, hard road but we got through it.

For me, the key was staying calm, not reacting with shock, and letting her be honest without fear of my reaction. If you suspect something deep like this, don't wait for the perfect moment. Just start the conversation with love and open ears.

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Enlow Aurelia @aureliaenlow5792

This made me tear up. My sister went through this with her son and she said the exact same thing - staying calm was the hardest part but it's what made him open up. You handled that so well, seriously. That line "I don't get it but I want to try" is everything. Hope your daughter is doing better now.
15 days ago

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