Imagine writing about bible characters and their escapades relatable to Nigerians in a funny and engaging way . Think Nebuchadnezzar for example.
Tonye Obomate@obomatetonye219791
6 hours ago
Nebuchadnezzar the 'Agbero' King
Once upon a time in Babylon—a city that would make Lagos traffic seem like child’s play—there reigned a king called Nebuchadnezzar. This wasn’t your regular king o. Baba was so full of himself that if you greeted him “Good morning,” he would expect you to add “Your Royal Freshness” before he’d respond.
Nebuchadnezzar had it all: power, wealth, and a palace that would make Banana Island look like a boys' quarters. But there was one small problem—his head was too big. Not physically o, but ego-wise. Baba started thinking he was the alpha and omega, the beginning and end. One day, he built a golden statue taller than the Third Mainland Bridge and commanded everyone in the kingdom to bow whenever his palace DJ played the soundtrack. No bowing? Straight to the fiery furnace, no negotiations.
The man was feeling himself, until one fateful night when he had a dream that shook him like NEPA light blinking during a Champions League final. In this dream, a big tree was chopped down, and all the animals ran away. Baba woke up sweating like someone who just ate pepper soup with extra pepper. He called his advisers and dream interpreters.
First came one of his agberos, Belteshazzar, but we all know him as Daniel. Now, Daniel was sharp—like those boys that can check your bank account balance with just your phone number. Nebuchadnezzar asked him to interpret the dream.
Daniel scratched his head and said, “Oga, this dream no be small thing o. That big tree wey dem cut? Na you. God say make I tell you, if you no humble yourself, dem go carry you enter bush. You go chop grass like goat. For seven years, you no go sabi difference between yourself and the cows for Obudu ranch.”
Nebuchadnezzar laughed. “Grass ke? Daniel, you don start with your comedy again. Abeg, leave that thing. Babylon no fit run without me. Who go manage my Okada riders? Who go control all these street boys wey dey hustle for under bridge?”
But just as Daniel predicted, one day, Nebuchadnezzar was on his palace balcony giving a TED Talk to himself: "See this great Babylon that I built with my own hands, for my own glory—" Before he could say “God forbid,” a voice from heaven interrupted:
"Oga Nebu, your time don reach. Off your mic."
Next thing, Nebuchadnezzar found himself in the bush, shirtless, crawling on all fours. His royal agbada turned to palm fronds, and his famous palace sandals? Gone. He started grazing on grass, competing with goats for space under the shade. The kingdom's WhatsApp group blew up with memes and captions like, "King Nebu don turn to NebuCowzar!"
For seven years, Nebuchadnezzar lived the bush life. If you called him "Your Excellency," he would reply with "Moo!" His dreadlocks grew longer than those of the local herbalist, and his nails could scratch K-leg off a goat.
But after the seventh year, Nebuchadnezzar finally got his sense back. He lifted his eyes to heaven and shouted, “Oluwa, You be Baba o! Nobody dey reach You!” Instantly, his throne was restored, his agbada reappeared, and his Instagram followers skyrocketed.
From that day on, Nebuchadnezzar became the most humble king in history. Anytime someone tried to hail him too much, he’d quickly respond, "Abeg o, no overdo am. I no wan go back to bush life!"
And so, Nebuchadnezzar became a walking testimony that when God humbles you, even bush animals will know your name.
Moral of the Story: Stay humble, because pride can turn you from His Royal Highness to His Royal Grassness.
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