I really struggled with this for years. I was always second-guessing myself,...
Sow Tommy@tommysow8057
22 days ago
I really struggled with this for years. I was always second-guessing myself, waiting for someone else to tell me I was making the right choice. What changed things for me was something super concrete: I started making small decisions and physically writing down the outcome.
Here's what I mean. Instead of asking a friend "should I take this new route to work?" I just picked one and drove it. Then I wrote in a notebook: "Took the scenic route. Took 5 minutes longer but less traffic stress. Worth it?" Or "Ordered the spicy curry even though I was nervous. Loved it." Over time, I built this little log of times I trusted my own judgment and it worked out fine or even great. It sounds silly but it's like creating your own evidence file.
The other thing that helped was learning to sit with discomfort without fixing it. When I made a choice and felt that pang of "what if I'm wrong?" I'd literally put my hand on my chest and say out loud "I can handle this being wrong." Most of the time, the worst case was just feeling awkward or wasting a few bucks. That muscle of tolerating uncertainty got stronger.
Also, stop asking for opinions on decisions you can handle alone. I had a rule: if the outcome won't matter in a week, I don't ask anyone. That forced me to practice trusting my instincts on low stakes stuff. Eventually it just became habit.
I still wobble sometimes, but now I have that notebook to look back on. It's proof that I've been reliable for myself, even when no one else was watching.
8 days ago