HOW DID I RISE?
Abdulhakeem Hafsah@hafsahabdulhakeem490177
1 month ago
It’s been a while in this space.
Sometimes, I want to stay.
Other times, I feel like leaving.
So… what happens if I leave?
What happens when I’m no more?
What happens to life,
To dreams and goals?
To the stories —uncertain, yet untold?
What happens to “good life” and “success”
That sine qua non that has never come easy?
I feel secure within, yet insecurity surrounds me.
I smell the fragrance of relief
so close, like a stone’s throw away.
I feel tranquility…
yet I still cry at times,
without knowing why.
And sometimes,
I just need to cry out loud, not in silence.
I need to laugh heartily not just smile.
I need to talk when I must, not only when I’m free to.
I need to rise from my bed, not because I don’t want rest,
But because rest now feels heavy.
I need to stand
not because I’m tired of sitting,
but because the seat no longer comforts me.
I need to take that step
not because I always want to,
but because I never really had a choice.
Are there not many choices?
Maybe.
But I choose to do what’s right
Because success is the craving of my soul.
I’ve weighed them all.
And I saw:
Heaps of mountainous sand with no visible peak,
Grains of stone whose roots run deep and known.
Even when it’s slippery and I fall,
I rise.
I stand, even on thorns,
Yes, I bleed.
But the blood you won’t see
Will lead to smiles you will see.
And I begin to wonder…
How did I close my eyes amidst chaos?
How did I get it right, even when I faltered?
How did I rise with no one to pull me up?
How did you see my smile, but never my pain or tears?
How did I walk in Pandora’s boxes and not get swallowed?
How did I show comfort when I was far from it?
How did I walk freely on a path lined with deadly spines?
How did I try to sleep while hearing gunshots not in dreams, but in real time?
How do I breathe in the fragrance of goodness when evil flows like streams?
With trillions of hows and whys,
The only constant answer has always been near
The One who eases,
Who never overburdens,
Who doesn’t leave me with all my fears, lies, cries, and questions.
The One who helps me rise
not just once, but again and again.
For on this path,
All I yearn for…
is not the smell of hell,
but the fragrance of success.
@hafywrites
1 month ago
