joy Anderson

Hallucinations from the depths of my mind

joy Anderson
@joyanderson211333

11 months ago

I've always had hallucinations of Sarah,the girl I loved who died ten years ago .She died in a ghastly accident .
I see her every where I go ,even after so many years she lingers in my mind and makes me drunk on her memories but what I never expected was my hallucinations coming into actualisation that it all seems real ,it feels real .
she's looking at me from across the street standing under the rain ,her hair wet and draped to her skin ,from where I stand they still look as dark as the night sky without the stars in it .
This can't be real ,this can't be happening I tell myself . Sarah's dead ,twelve years ago she died she isn't meant to be alive ."my hallucinations have gotten pretty bad "I whisper shaking my head and just when I started thinking that it's all a fluke I see her flash her sweet smile at me ..the smile she only gave me when I bought her gifts and presents .
"No no no no ..this can't be happening , Sarah's dead , she's long gone ,she can't be alive ,no !!" with my eyes closed I repeat those words over and over again till I can no longer hear the sounds of the pouring rain or hear the voices of the people talking to me probably wondering what's happening to me .
I open my eyes and she's gone like she was never there ,the people gathered around me are nowhere to be seen and there isn't any single drop of rain from the sky , what's going on ,was it all in my head ,I look around and she still isn't anywhere to be seen neither are the people who were checking up on me and I find myself unconsciously muttering the words with tears in my eyes I'm sorry ."I'm sorry I didn't mean to do it ".
Why did I say those words ?,I mutter again "I'm sorry " but this time I say those words shocked at the sight of blood on my hands .

#poetrylovers
#mentalhealth
#poetrycommunity
#toxiclove

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11 months ago

joy Anderson

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