Designer vs Slippers: Lagos Edition!
Uche uzodinma@ucheuzodinma
2 days ago
It was one of those classic Lagos afternoons—hot enough to fry an egg on the roof of a danfo (the legendary Lagos minibus). Inside the bus, it was a different kind of heat. The crowd was thick, with passengers squished together like sardines in a tin, all praying silently that NEPA wouldn’t disappoint again when they got home.
At the back of the bus, trouble was brewing. A tall guy with a flashy Gucci shirt and dark sunglasses stood glaring at another passenger, a short man in a faded T-shirt and slippers, who had just wriggled his way to the last available seat.
“Guy, abeg, come up!” Gucci Man snapped, adjusting his sunglasses with a flourish. “You no see say na important person I be? Do you know how much this shirt costs?”
The short man looked up, unimpressed, and fired back, “Oga, Lagos no send your designer o! If na Gucci you wear, abeg show us where Gucci write ‘reserved seat!’”
The whole bus went silent for a beat before the first burst of laughter came from the front. The conductor, who had been halfway out of the door shouting, “Obalende! CMS! Oshodi, enter with your change!” nearly fell off the moving bus from laughing too hard.
The drama escalated. Gucci Man pointed to his shoes and said, “Look at these! Original Italian leather. My outfit alone fit buy this danfo.”
The short man, not one to back down, leaned forward, inspected the shoes, and said, “E fit be Italian leather, but e don trek for Nigeria too much. Oga, forget am, na slippers you dey wear.”
The bus exploded into more laughter. Even the driver couldn’t resist and chimed in, “Oya now, Gucci man, show us your designer leg. Maybe the seat go recognize you!”
By this point, Gucci Man’s sunglasses were slipping down his nose, and his confidence was fading faster than Lagos traffic could clear after a rainstorm. He huffed, crossed his arms, and muttered, “Lagos people no dey respect luxury.”
The short man, now fully enjoying his victory, patted the seat he was sitting on and declared, “Luxury no dey win this seat o. Na leg power and small size!”
But karma had other plans. As the bus hit a bump, the short man was launched halfway out of his seat. Gucci Man, seizing the opportunity, grabbed him and pulled him upright with a grin. “No worry, bros, make I support you. After all, Gucci people dey help community.”
The passengers laughed so hard that even the conductor forgot to collect fares for a moment. By the end of the ride, both Gucci Man and the short man had to stand, thanks to another passenger who slid into the seat while they were busy arguing.
As the bus screeched to a stop, the driver yelled, “Wetin we go call this drama now? ‘Designer vs Slippers: Lagos Edition!’”
📍Lagos, Nigeria
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