branded by your holy silenceand judged by a law I never helped write.

Amada Paul Israel
@israelamadapaul172464
2 days ago

LET ME ENJOY MY LONELINESS


Let me enjoy my loneliness
not as a curse, but as a cloaked companion,
a quiet witness to my soul's unrest,
since your kind of love
is not for a sinner like me,
branded by your holy silence
and judged by a law I never helped write.

I carved my name in the dirt of broken promises,
I drank from wells poisoned by shame,
but I did not lie about my thirst.
Still, your love arrived with conditions
sacred fine prints and pious riddles
meant for saints dressed in rehearsed smiles.
Not for me.
Not for the man who bleeds honestly.

So let me walk with my shadows.
Let me dine with regret and sleep beneath
the blanket of my own becoming.
For I am still becoming
and maybe, just maybe,
this solitude is not exile
but a sacred forge
where I melt down my guilt
into gold forged by fire and ache.

Let me enjoy my loneliness
because in it, I find no pretense.
It does not kiss me only when I'm clean.
It does not measure my worth
by the way I fall on my knees.
It simply stays
raw, real, and ruthlessly present.

Your kind of love
feels like a courtroom.
Mine, like a battlefield.
But neither offers peace.
So I choose this wilderness
where at least my scars
make honest company.

Maybe I’m a sinner
but not a liar.
Maybe I’m broken
but not disposable.

Let me enjoy my loneliness.
For it is here,
in this sacred silence,
that I learn to love
the parts of me
you never dared to see.



@nirclepoetry