A Playlist Called Thirteen

Saro-Wiwa oluremi
@oluremisaro-wiwa6800
5 days ago

I have a playlist on my phone called "Thirteen." It's not for the age. It's for the year I first heard every song on it. 2013. I was nineteen and living in a tiny apartment in Berlin that smelled like sauerkraut and someone else's cigarette smoke.

The first track is "Retrograde" by James Blake. I remember the exact moment I heard it. I was on the U-Bahn, heading to a party I didn't want to go to, and the song came on through my cheap earbuds. The bass felt like it was coming from inside my chest. I missed my stop on purpose.

There's also "Do I Wanna Know?" by Arctic Monkeys, which I listened to on repeat while walking across the Oberbaum Bridge at 3am, and "Team" by Lorde, which I played so many times my roommate threatened to throw my phone out the window.

What I love about this playlist is that it's a time capsule. Every song is a door. I open it, and I'm back in that U-Bahn. Back in that apartment. Back being nineteen and terrified and thrilled and broke and alive.

I don't listen to it much anymore. I'm scared I'll wear it out. But sometimes, when I need to remember who I was before I became who I am, I put on "Retrograde" and close my eyes.

#writingvibes #nirclesnewfeed