Eyitayo Jemimah Ajayi
@eyitayojemimahajayi
1 year ago

Conversations with your soul; diary of a grieving relative

Not that I wished you dead but old age had you messed up.
I thought I was prepared for your demise , I never bid you farewell- death was smarter, it still holds its element of surprise.
I do not want to mourn you or grieve you
I just want to bid you farewell.
I do not know whether you are stuck between two worlds - maybe you are right beside me.
They say I will see you on the other side - that is a long journey from here.
I do not know whether you are in the wind hovering around to seek peace.
I do not know whether your soul has ascended- even if you are in heaven,I am sure few minutes with me is nothing compared to eternity.
I do not know if you are with dead husband and children - you always conversed with them during your last days .
Can I have a word with you- to tell you I forgive you.
You as a being might be too much to ask- you as a shadow, maybe
Thought I could see you in my shadow- as I am a striking resemblance of you.
But all I can see is me,turns out you left me after you begat me.
I could give up my shadow for you -maybe you could live a little.
You visited my dreams - I thought they were my memories of you
Only to realise they were not after my wake.
Those conversations we never had weigh me down- dementia got hold of you.
You were right here with us in your body but it was if you were long gone.
Those arguments we never settled chokes me
Those explanations you never made because evidence no dey suffocates me.
I have no right memories of you-I only have vivid memories of your later days and faint memories of little time we spent together when you were yourself.
I wrote you this poem- meant to be sung
Perhaps when your soul hears it,
It will beckon to mine.





#poetry