Olamide Santos
@olamidesantos
1 year ago

The film runner

With heavy eyes; the result of a short night, I stood before the beans seller making my order.
Me: Beans 100 naira. Oya plantain 50, moi-moi 50, put two eggs, one fish. Ehen! Put small stew.
Beans seller: Wetin remain?
Me: Put 200 naira ogi for me.
I had carried the food flask with an inner bowl. The diet was necessary to maintain my bulky frame. Unlike my neighbour and his hallelujah diet, telling me I'm not eating healthy. Rubbish.
As I turned to head back home just after paying and receiving my change. I heard gun shots and four men dressed in all black jumping out of a bank
‘On Saturday again’? I asked myself in shy whispers.
Before they could get to their car, two police vehicles blocked them stopping their escape By then I was well hidden behind an abandoned bus.
The shoot-out was rapid and ceaseless. But I summoned courage and made a made dash for my apartment, an adjoining room and palour self-contained.
As I began to run. The shooting stopped. I saw the police and men in black chasing after me. Now I wished I wasn't this big. ‘If I survived this I would join Emeka in his hallelujah diet’. I promised myself
I made zigzags to throw them off my tail. In a panic got into my compound and scrambled for the keys to my door. I secured my doors and went into kabashing.
After a few minutes I heard voices one of them sounded like my neighbour. Wat is Emeka doing
The voices grew louder and clearer.
Emeka: Na him room be this
Voice2: Chai that guy they run as him big reash ehn
All: Laughing.
I would have blushed and laughed with them but for the tension building up.
Then the knock on the door.
Emeka: Bros obi how far, open door na
What was he thinking did he think they were Jehovah's witness or wat?
Emeka: bros open na I see u as u run inside.
Me: (in a shaky voice) I no dey house o…
All: Laughing again
How stupid of me.
Voice 3: Ehh! bros no vex oh na film we dey act.
Me: Which film? the gun self Na film abi?
Voice2: Bros the gun na replica the bullet na blank, E no dey keell
Emeka: (With laughter hanging in his voice) bros na film jare. Na wetin the wan tell you Wey u dey hide like pickin wey masqurade wan flog
I rushed to the door.
Me: film abi if you know wan make I swear for una make u go the Iya elewa wey dey road by me the food wey I buy throw-way sharp sharp.
All: Laughing

#Writer
#Poetry
#Arts

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